I started writing a blog this morning and it was not going well I was mad and I was having trouble. Kind of saying mean things about the world and peoples behavior, in a judgmental way. I struggled with it all morning and spent hours flinging mud and behaving in a way that held me in a unkind light. This is something I just never DO. But I just DID! I was super busy DOING and forgot about BEING, I then considered aways that i could sit down to see if i could fix my mistakes but by some unknown reason I had forgotten to save the draft so the entire blog post was lost. I was a bit confused because I saw the blog as a opportunity to fix a wrong or somehow make it better by looking at it with a new perspective and time.
At first I was dumbfounded, and a bit mad because I thought I could fix the blog and make it better. It had potential and lets face it blogs take time to write no matter how better one is compared to the other.
That of course was not the reality NOW. I considered what it was about the deleted post that was so rank in the first place that I actually forgot to save it.
I think it is my frustration with myself of alway making the effort to have people understand how simple it is to meet their reality and be present with whatever is going on. It’s really not that tricky to check into your behavior and see just where you are at in any given moment. I was mad and challenged with my own inability to BE present and just own the madness and my upset ness with my inability to articulate truthfully the circumstances of my moment.
This turned out to be a great opportunity to BE honest and work with a negative feeing. However in the moment I was not aware of exactly what was going on with my behavior except being in a bad mood. The situation I found myself in separated me from the event of HOW I was and not so much who I was right then. HOW I was is perfect and who I was was mad.
I was turned off because of the very thing that is what makes the entire process worth meeting in the first place. I didn’t want to take any responsibility for what I was feeling. I felt discouraged because I’m getting old and the “old” cliques were piling up in my head and my ego was buying it all. Big time – in other words i was feeling sorry for myself – something I always find out in retrospect.
I let the capacity I have naturally sourced through me BE over shadowed by the need to DO. Something – anything to make me FEEL better. I felt ineffective and useless to the cause of consciousness expanding and growing. I felt as if some of what I had written to be too hard to understand and too metaphysically complex to be of interest let alone inspire anyone to BE a warrior to the expanding universe. I love that word warrior I never get to use it!
In almost all cases it boils down to FEELINGS. Almost all my readings are people asking me to explain a particular feeling- why- the intensity – or the actual need to feel anything negative?
It’s true I expect a lot from people but not in a punishing way if they miss the mark. If i did I would be handing out punishments all day. People make mistakes and they suffer and cause others to suffer – welcome to Earth in transition. Had I published that blog I would have hurt people – some people- I spent the whole morning disillusioned and uninspired to continue the ability for me to BE a presence in the now. Hours of feeling whats the use? It’s just too hard to explain and few care, including me!
So I went to the farmers market to BE the best I could BE around some other people. It was here that someone commented on my hair being a wild bush sticking out in all directions. We laughed and I remembered the utter senseless pain we put ourselves thought when we forget to laugh especially at ourselves. My involved presence offered others an example of how i can BE inviting and kind and let them find their own opportunity to be inviting and kind. By the time I returned home I was able to regroup. Texted a few funny texts and learn that a good friend was about to start reading my book chapter one published on my site for free. I was honored.
Almost all my “work” is for free because I see the collective reality that a money based economy brings to our beautiful Earth. It discourages me and makes me feel mad, and yet I know and I see billions of people intensionally making the effort, trying to understand themselves. One way they BE it is by getting readings with me, and bringing that energy the source that streams through them to the things they create, They each make a lot of effort to BE A presence with their efforts, be it art, film, writing, being a mother, or just standing as a presence to BE the best human being that this universe is capable of BEING RIGHT NOW. Despite the efforts made and moments of failure our universe continues to BE very capable of expanding into.
This alone inspires me to go to Portland and give the best workshop I can by BEING THE PRESENCE I CAN BE RIGHT HERE and NOW. That’s in August so a lot can happen or not during that time period especially in my reality as it sources through me.
I intend to continue to share the information I learn from giving readings and help explain the dimensions emerging through all of us as we actually construct a NOW and BE POSSIBILITY OR POTENTIAL dimensionally by making a choice and that choice change or heal automatically becoming the change that heals this Earth. Daring to explore challenging imaginations to what IS and BE the physics necessary to learn how to make use of the elemental universal expansion available to us all RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW.
This is my offer to you and my challenge to you. Join me and literally the billions of emerging reality structures we each ARE and are to each other, this Earth and most importantly our expanding universe.